Memorial Day weekend. The year is flying by. What a year it has been out there in the world, and in my own life. I have a feeling you know exactly what I mean.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Not the productive kind. The kind that just happens when you get quiet enough to actually hear yourself.
For a long time I was making music I thought I should be making. Styles I thought I was supposed to be in. Trying to sound like other writers. Chasing some idea of what success was supposed to look like from the outside. And somewhere in all of that I just kind of lost the thread of who I actually am as an artist.
I spent almost five years hardcore teaching and content creating and it reprogrammed me. Everything became about how do I teach this, how do I package this, how do I grow this. It built a version of me that looked productive but felt hollow. That version is not gone. It still pulls at me sometimes. But I see it now for what it is.
I heard someone say once that nothing feels better than the moment you write a song and you just know. Not the chart position later. Not the money. The moment. That feeling in the room. I believe that. People with everything still feel empty. People who feel whole don't really care about the scoreboard. I want to be the second kind of person.
So right now I am deep into a new album I am not ready to talk about yet. What I will say is it is the most alive I have felt making music in years. The only question I am asking is does it move me. If it does, it goes on the record.
Some people will find it. Some of those people will feel something. That is completely fine with me.
More soon.
Chad